First, I would like to thank everyone who made it out this weekend for Nada Dada!! I am truly filled with gratitude for all of the beautiful moments I got to share with my family, friends, and my community! I am honored to have enjoyed some really wonderful moments of renewed creativity and childlike wonder amongst old and new friends alike. I appreciate your support in helping me to pursue my dreams, too! I am on what feels like the very cusp of my own sunrise, and I am so honored by those who have been there for me in some very difficult moments during my life.
In fact, a woman came through my door during Nada Dada, and while her hair was long this time, she was still just as beautiful as she had ever been. She was my first boyfriend’s mom, and she was an angel for me during the most difficult part of my life, so far. Despite her son being a bit of a dummy at times, she was such a positive and wonderful energy in my life at a time when I really needed exactly that.
Michael Dan Shannon, December 7th, 1957 – October 21st, 2001
My father passed away two weeks after my fourteenth birthday on October 21st, 2001. He died almost instantly from a pulmonary embolism, and my life changed instantaneously as well. In fact, I know the exact moment. The morning that he died, I sat straight up in bed feeling sick to my stomach and knowing with absolute certainty that something was wrong. I looked at my clock, and it was 8:29 am. I found out about an hour later that my dad had died “sometime around 8:30.” He died at 8:29 am. I know he did. I have never been able to fully understand this experience, but I know with complete certainty that it did in fact happen.
About four months after my dad transitioned, my mom decided to move us from my hometown of Challis, Idaho to Reno, Nevada. It was an abrupt change, and not one that I was particularly thrilled about. I had to explain to people over and over again that my dad had just died, which I did not have to explain to my friends at home. Eighth grade is difficult anyway, and for me, it seriously sucked. I adapted, and I started high school at Reno High. I joined the “Forensics” class, which I thought was like the crime scene investigation TV shows! It wasn’t. In fact, it was the forensics of speech, and I had serendipitously joined the speech and debate team. In all honesty, that was one of the best things to ever happen to me, because I found a purpose and an outlet to channel my hurt and pain.
Miss Nevada Junior National Teenager, 2003
On July 2nd, 2003, the summer after my freshman year of high school, my new home burned down due to arson. I had been awarded the title of Miss Nevada Junior National Teenager, so my mom and I were out doing pageant work when we received the call. We saw black swirling smoke in the area near our apartment, and my heart went out to the people who might be losing their home in that moment… Turns out, I was sending my love to myself on that one. We lost almost everything. We had moved from a house into an apartment, so we did have some things in storage, and there was a fireman who went inside and brought out my father’s ashes and his robe. I used to sleep with my daddy’s robe, because his scent clung to it and it felt soft against my puffy eyes as I cried into it during my nights. I have still not washed that robe, because it now carries another signature scent from my life: the acrid smell of smoke.
The First Homeless Miss Nevada Junior National Teenager, 2003
Prior to our apartment burning down, my grandpa passed away, and about a year later, my grandmother followed him. My grandma was a very sad woman, but she was grateful for our presence in her life as she neared the end of it. She found comfort in hoarding, which left an immense impact on my brain. She had pathways leading through her house, and she even had a full room dedicated to saving empty tissue boxes that she believed would be valuable someday. It breaks my heart that she had the need to use that number of tissue boxes enabling her to fill the entire room. She must have had many, many tears of her own, and she did.
My mom was an incredible inspiration in her strength she exhibited as she tried to protect me from a number of situations occurring apart from the tragedies we had experienced. However, she became very ill, and she had to undergo treatments that were akin to chemotherapy. She lost a great deal of her hair, which had been long and thick. She became frail and vulnerable, and I was scared to my very core that I wouldn’t be able to hold onto her either. I understood the desperation of hoarding, because I myself felt as if I was losing everything around me. I was afraid I would be an orphan before I turned 18! Thankfully, my mother is still with me, and she is a part of my new company!! To have her here and a part of THIS time in my life is truly a gift that I am all the more appreciative of for all that we went through together.
Again, and again, and again, I have lost my foundation, my perceived foothold in this world. I have been graced to find angels who have helped me back onto my feet, and to see Lisa Singer again in my Nada Dada room was truly a moment for reflection in realizing the distance I have come since my teenage years. I am so grateful to welcome my new business into existence, and I am so happy that I made it to this point to see myself overcome! I realize that SSWG is not in fact an actual child, but in oh so many ways, I feel as if I am welcoming a new entity into the world. This new business is in fact a facet of me, a new “me” coming into being.
My Brothers :)
Now that Nada Dada is over, I am headed to Berlin to visit with my handsome brother! He has been such a tremendous help to me in creating this website, and throughout my entire life for that matter! I would also like to thank our brother Troy for all of the incredible support and physical labor he has put in to help me create the company! Thank you brothers and mama-bear, thank you, thank you, thank you. I am so blessed with the good fortune of having functionally dysfunctional family through thick and thin, near or far, dead or alive, with love in this moment and forevermore.
Stay tuned for my next post from BERLIN!
With love and light and GRATITUDE,
Nora Ann
Nora, it was a pleasure seeing you on Sunday. The sweet light of hope and kindness surround you and honestly, you feel like a very old loving soul to me. Best wishes for all your beautiful dreams coming true. You are an inspiration!